Scene out of a Muggle Studies end of term 'stage'play. Harry lies on the fragments of a would-be original Titanic doorwing. Severus is standing on a plank.


Harry: "I will go down with this ship, and I won't pop my hands up and surrender..."

Professor Snape arches his eyebrow in a significant manner, leaving no doubt to the spectators that Harry's display of Gryffindor stubbornness is much to his distaste.

Meanwhile, Harry produces a white flag out of thin air, causing Professor Flitwick to beam.

The conjured Muggle ship starts sinking into the Hogwarts Lake, welcomed by the giant squid, in front of the sunset. Professor McGonagall and Hermione both wipe their eyes whilst Professor Snape looks murderous.

Albus Dumbledore pops a lemon drop into his mouth, smiling benignly.

The Hogwarts first year choir sings,

"Fare thee well
May the Lord who watches all
Watch over thee
May God's heaven be you blanket
As you softly sleep...

Softly sleep...

In every age mankind attempts
To fabricate great works
At once magnificient
And impossible...

On desert sands, on mountains of stone
A pyramid!
From flying buttresses alone
A wall of light!
A chapel ceiling!
Screaming one man's ecstasy!
One man's ecstasy!...

Miracles them all!
China's endless wall
Stonehange, the Parthenon, The Duomo,
The aqueducts of Rome!

We did not attempt to make
With mammooth blocks of stone
A giant pyramid
No, not a pyramid
Nor Gothic walls that radiate with light

Our task was to dream upon
And then create
A floating city!...
...floating city!...
A human metropolis!...
A complete civilization!
And fast!
At once a poem
And the perfection
Of physical engineering

Sail on, sail on,
Great ship, Tianic...
Cross the open sea
Pray the journey's sound 'till your port be found
Fortune's winds sing godspeed to thee...

Fortune's winds sing godspeed to thee..."

(voices fading)

Professor Snape gives in to his supposed role as a lovely maiden, faking a few tears for his 'dying' 'lover' Harry who is apparently floating farther and farther away from the audience ['Hope he gets tickled by the squid in all the unpleasant places'].

The audience is totally taken with the display of Muggle history and breaks into an ear-shattering applause.

Harry (suddenly appearing next tho the Potions Master) and Snape bow deeply, the conjured debris disappearing, leaving the two wizards floating in mid-air above the school lake.